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QUESTION

I believe that I am a poor listener. Often after meetings, I find myself having a lot of loose ends, but in the situation I am not enough aware of this to be able to ask a specific question. I am simply not on top of things. This also means that I am having a hard time taking notes during the meeting. I have made it successfully through school and various universities, but I was always better at gaining knowledge through other means that listening.

How can I get better at listening?

{ asked by David }

ANSWER

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This is a most common known Think-Feel-Do triangle about working, living their life etc.. In the same way, it works with about listening.

  1. What you think about listening.

  2. What you feel about listening.

  3. What you do about listening.

For this three topic, analyze this page http://www.au.af.mil/au/awc/awcgate/kline-listen/b10ch5.htm

Listening is a gift. It helps build relationships, solve problems, ensure understanding, resolve conflicts. At work, effective listening means fewer errors and less wasted time. At home, it helps develop resourceful, self-reliant kids who can solve their own problems.

When I listen somebody, I try to turn my face to him/her and always make an eye contact. With this, I always get more concentration and focus when I listen to. And If you can, try to listen and response to him/her with your jest.

Usually, most of people can't listen very well when they have more relaxed. They feel lazy and can't concentrate perfectly and can't focus on the listener. For example, when you listening, if you sit on very comfortable chair, sometimes you should straighten your body. Person's listening skills falls with very comfortable environments.

I always love it. When I listen somebody, at the same time, I try to convert some words to pictures in my mind. For all that, I get more intelligibility and be remembered. Pictures are more stable than words.

Sometimes, feeling yourself like who are listening, is the best tip for being a better listener.

If you give regular feedbacks to speaker, you can get more healthy understanding environment. Remind them, you are still there. And If you listen long speech, focus and remember on keywords and issues. If you listen difficult people, spend more time listening, not speaking.

--Listening Quiz--

I found this quiz on the internet, maybe you can try on yourself and see how you are good about listening. Answers are on the bottom of the questions!

  1. During the past two weeks, can you recall an incident where you thought I was not listening to you?

  2. When you are talking to me, do you feel relaxed at least 90 percent of the time?

  3. When you are talking to me, do I maintain eye contact with you most of the time?

  4. Do I get defensive when you tell me things with which I disagree?

  5. When talking to me, do I often ask questions to clarify what you are saying?

  6. In a conversation, do I sometimes overreact to information?

  7. Do I ever jump in and finish what you are saying?

  8. Do I often change my opinion after talking something over with you?

  9. When you are trying to communicate something to me, do I often do too much of the talking?

  10. When you are talking to me, do I often play with a pen, pencil, my keys, or something else on my desk?

The answers most often given for effective listeners are: 1. no, 2. yes, 3. yes, 4. no, 5. yes, 6. no, 7. no, 8. yes, 9. no, 10. no.

{ answered by Soner Gönül }
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